In his Bedroom
by LillyRose
Summary: Spike watchs the lovely slayer sleeping next to him, then it is her trun to watch him sleep. Will they ever be able to their ture feelings? Or will it all say in his bedroom.


I own nothing of Buffy the Vampire slayer.  
This story takes place in Spike's bed room, though it is rated G, it is mainly spike thinking about the lovely slayer next to him and her doing the same as she watchs him sleep.  
  
In his bed.  
(Spike)  
By Lilly Rose  
  
Love is a passage that everyone must enter, it seems as if people seem to lose themselves in the darkness just enough so that love can be light that is waiting to pull them back out. His love for her was doing just that, his eyes could bearly stay off her sleeping form. She was an angel to him, a sweet innocent angel. Though he knew very well, what her powers made her able to do. She dusted his kind, hurt them killed them. But that was the path that she was sur post to be on.  
  
Yet, his undead heart could not stop to recall when he ever felt this way about a woman who was so alive. Yes, there was his maker, but she was undead, cold. Though she screamed out her love for him everytime they made love, this one did not. She didn't have to, it showed in her eyes even if heart was unsure about it. It was there.  
  
She was the slayer, she was used to being hurt, that is why she hide away her feelings letting everything seem to fade in to the darkness. He wondered if she understood how much he would give up just to have her forever by his side. Would she be willing to give up everything for that?  
  
Most likely not, she had her sister to care for, her whole life to be in. He had killed slayers, raped them and played with them. But everything seemed to be different, he felt different. Maybe the chip was awaking his soul?   
  
Or maybe the powerful witch that was her friend put a spell on him. He sighs and watches her chest move up and down as she sleeps. They finely made it to the bed, it felt right in the bed, it felt as if he could hold her forever. Here she was wrapped in his sheets, in his arms.  
  
He was starting to wish that she would never wake up, each breath she takes slowly going to his ears, filling him like a love song, her eyes to never open seem to open, as she so lost in the dream world, her own world to see what hell she puts thim though. He sighs again, though there was no need to. He lays his head back down on the cold pillow. She could never want to send the rest of her life with him.   
  
She had told him countless times that she didn't love him, that she could never love him. This was only a game that she longed to play. Perhaps one day when things are better he could tell her everything. Tell her how his soul seems to have come back to him, seems to have found it's mate.   
  
Though until then he will lay beside her and let her feel his love, though he wasn't sure if that is enough, but with his last breath before falling a sleep a few soft words passed his lips. "I love you, Buffy.."  
  
  
  
Part two  
(Buffy)  
  
~He's still a sleep, I could get away if I wanted to. But I'll stay a little longer, he looks so peaceful when he's sleeping. It makes me wonder if he really is the monster that I know him as. I don't know what woke me up, I think he said my name.  
  
Why does he have to say it with so much love? Doesn't he know I can't return it, that I am in to much pain to let him in? I am not sure he does, he let me use him, make love to him, maybe I shouldn't call it 'making love' but the other words seem to dirty to use now. I'll let my mind called it what ever it wants, though a part of my heart wants to call it making love.~  
  
All those dark painful thoughts were swimming her in her mind, they were taking control. They were always there whenever she watched him, sleeping or a wake. She wanted to tell him again that she couldn't love him, that she was using him to feel, to let the fire burn her. But there was now doubt in her mind now.  
  
Why does love have to come at the darkness moments of your life? Why does he have to look at her with those eyes of his? Even when he is vamped out he still seems to look at her in the same way. It made her soul hurt every time he looked at her, her heart even seemed to weaken, wanting to feel love.  
  
It wasn't this hard when she looked at Angel, it wasn't this hard when she watched the others go as well. Why was it so hard when she starred in to his eyes? Why were his eyes so different?   
  
No one ever loved her like this, to Angel she was the perfect girl, she made sure he never saw her dark side, his had already hurt them both enough. But with Spike, with William she could let him hurt her, let him rape her heart for the little bit of love that was a live in her heart.   
  
She was used to calling out she loved someone in the heat of passion, but she couldn't let herself do it with Spike. At first she would close her eyes and think of Angel, of anyone else touching her, pleasing her. But she couldn't do it any more.  
  
The feeling of tears spilling down her face was not a new one, turning her back to him, her mind shows her what her heart is truing to hide. She did care for William if not loved him. "God.. William.. I am so sorry.." She mumbles to herself as she tries to go back to sleep. But it was already to late, her heart had told her brain, she did love him.  
  
End? 


End file.
